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"Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is."
"I didn't come to Washington to be loved and I haven't been disappointed."
"When you're through changing, you're through."
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
"I viewed my fellow man not as a fallen angel, but as a risen ape."
"If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't."
"Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself."
"Love's always a little lonely in the beginning."
"I've occasionally heard that I was kicked out of Harvard for being a Communist, for dealing drugs, for corrupting minors, or for diverse other infractions of local decorum. Unfortunately, none of these rumors are true. The one I've heard more often is that I am dead. That one I encouraged, hoping it would cut down on the junk mail. It didn't."
"The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures."
"A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far."
"We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are."
"Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly."
"A man is measured by the size of things that anger him."
"Common-sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom."
"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world."
"You don't need to be 'straight' to fight and die for your country. You just need to shoot straight."
"The days you work are the best days."
"Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening."
"Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus."
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."
"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
"It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."
"I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth -- I just hate what is being done with it."
"We firmly believe there is more to life than money, beer, and sex. We just don't know what it is."
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"The atheist has no hope."
"When I'm writing, I know I'm doing the thing I was born to do."
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."
"Decisions are made by those who show up."
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-five now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
"Nature thrives on patience; man on impatience."
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."
"Ethical religion can be real only to those who are engaged in ceaseless efforts at moral improvement. By moving upward we acquire faith in an upward movement, without limit."
"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these."
"Having a male gynecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who doesn't own a car."
"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."
"A friend is able to see you as the wonderful person God created you to be."
"The greatest pleasure of life is love."
"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
"Religion to me has always been the wound, not the bandage."
"A speech is a solemn responsibility. The man who makes a bad thirty-minute speech to two hundred people wastes only a half hour of his own time. But he wastes one hundred hours of the audience's time - more than four days - which should be a hanging offense."
"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
"When the oak is felled the forest echoes with its fall, but a hundred acorns are sown silently by an unnoticed breeze."
"Any new system is worth trying when your luck is bad."
"Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution."
"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time."
"It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure."
"Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place."
"A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight."
"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."
"Knowledge is not wisdom, unless used wisely."
"We need not think alike to love alike."
"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently."
"I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor."
"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself."
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light."
"Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea."
"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
"Learning carries within itself certain dangers because out of necessity one has to learn from one's enemies."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
"There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness."
"People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately."
"...I hope that we will hear no more of all ways of life and all cultures being equally valid, which none of us truly believes but which many people mouth in order to appear broad-minded and generous of spirit."
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up."
""I want to thank Gus Van Sant for selling out so that I could use his editor Curtis Clayton, who did a great job."
"It's not about finding the right man, it's about being the right woman."
"Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live."
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."
"This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators."
"A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't."
"You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be - in baseball and in life."
"Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life."
"A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that's unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push."
"Criticism is nothing more than other people's opinion."
"The crowd makes the ballgame."
"The movie's director is the pilot. It's his vision. For an actor, the time to worry about flying is when you're on the ground. If you don't want to fly with the director, don't get on the plane."
"The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy."
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
"It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated...it is finished when it surrenders."
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
"The urge for destruction is also a creative urge."
"I figure wherever I am, that's the place to be."
"If you are gonna kick society in the teeth, you might as well use both feet."
"Have you ever heard people say 'don't sweat the details'? Well, they're wrong: sweat the details. They have a name for people who sweat the details: millionaires."
"After 'The Matrix,' I cannot wear sunglasses. As soon as I put them on, people recognise me."
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves."
"Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place."
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."
"In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist."
"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"It doesn't matter how many people I've killed. What matters is how I get along with the people who are still alive."
"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
"We Americans have no commission from God to police the world."
"Whenever science makes a discovery, the devil grabs it while the angels are debating the best way to use it."
"Baseball is the belly-button of our society."
"Reputation is character minus what you've been caught doing."
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
"Look not back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around you in awareness."
"Were it possible for us to wait for ourselves to come into the room, not many of us would find our hearts breaking into flower as we heard the door handle turn."
"If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know."
"I've seen the future, and it's much like the present -- only longer."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers."
"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles the great."
"Being religious means asking passionately the question of the meaning of our existence and being willing to receive answers, even if the answers hurt."
"Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit."
"When you work seven days a week, fourteen hours a day, you get lucky."
"I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow."
"If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date."
"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner."
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions."
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."
"What you have lost will not be returned to you. It will always be lost. You're left with only your scars to mark the void. All you can choose to do is go on or not. But if you go on, it's knowing you carry your scars with you."
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